about Meme…..
June 16th, 2008 by April
This will be a long post, but It’s going to be a crazy week and I have all these things I want to talk about…
We had a really crazy weekend…Scott’s uncle had a heart attack on Thursday and we went to see him on Friday night and although he didn’t look great, we were thinking he was stabilized and possibly on the road to recovery. What’s weird is we almost put off going to the hospital until Saturday when we could spend more time there…I am thankful now that we didn’t wait because he passed away on Saturday.
My grandfather, step father, and several other family members came up yesterday to celebrate father’s day and I cooked a big Mexican meal and then we planted a tree for my grandmother who died last year on the 18th. My grandmother’s friend Joy wanted to give us a tree to plant in our yard and had looked all over for a tree that would represent my grandmother. Well it turns out she found the perfect one.
This is called a “Chaste Tree” and everything about it reminds me of Meme. It smells great, it attracts butterflies, and humming birds, it’s great for bees (which we just happen to raise bees), it has beautiful purple flowers (my grandmother’s favorite color), and it supposedly is used to help relieve symptoms of PMS. There are several other wonderful qualities about it - here’s a link just in case you want to read about it or see what it will look like in bloom -
The Chaste Tree
Now I just want to find a stone angel or some sort of plaque I can put out there by the tree…..it was a bittersweet event, but I am thankful and can’t wait to see it in bloom!
This picture was taken on our trip to Vegas - My grandmother, mom, and aunts took me for my 21st birthday and it was one of the best trips I have been on.
I miss her very much and this week is going to be a little overwhelming but I wanted to share this with you as my tribute to her. This is the Eulogy I gave at her funeral last year …. I wanted to talk about who she really was and what her personality was like…and hopefully make people laugh - which is really what she would have wanted.
A Role Model is a person who serves as an example of the values, attitudes, and behaviors associated with a role.
My grandmother was a wonderful role model.
She was:
- Loving
- Bold
- Honest
- Open
- Sarcastic
- Generous
- Classy
- Fun
- empathetic
- Intelligent
- distinguished
- Humorous
- gentle
- witty
- courageous
- Spirited
- Strong
- Lively
- compassionate
-She was Beautiful
To me, Meme was all of the things most people would want to be known and remembered for.
She would of course tell you she was no saint….but she claimed to live with one so she hoped that would make up for it.
One of her best and most admirable qualities was her ability to open her heart, mind, and home to anyone. Everyone who walked into her house felt at home, at ease, accepted for who they were.
Anytime I brought friends over (even if it was for the first time), they would leave calling her Meme….because it didn’t matter if you only knew her for an hour, or for years….you couldn’t help but feel like she cared ….like she was a friend.
Meme loved being a sister, a mother, a grandmother, and wife to my grandfather for over 55 years. I remember seeing the two of them dancing at my wedding reception for the first time and thinking how wonderful it must be to still be so in love after all those years of marriage….
She always told me how proud she was of dad , how much she admired him…….and it showed.
Of course she also said it took several years of training him to become such a great husband….but that was something all women had to do.
My grandmother was quite a character. While I was with her at the hospital last week, I started thinking about things that she liked and started a list because I knew someday I would want to show it to my children when they ask me what she was like.
Here is what I came up with:
Meme’s favorites:
*She loved being surrounded by her family and loved sitting down to talk! She loved being a hostess and throwing great parties…mainly because it gave her a chance to bring out the good china and crystal.
*She loved hats in all shapes, colors and sizes…and loved to wear especially big ones (the kind that sometimes took up two seats) on holidays!
* She loved a good margarita
* She loved reading and because she read so many books -so fast, she would often end up reading the same ones over again because she couldn’t keep up with herself.
* She loved to sew, but more than that, she loved collecting and hoarding material.
* She loved to play slot machines. I would always laugh because when ever she’d win….she’d say…..uh….I just got through putting all those quarters in!
* She loved to re-decorate rooms …..she would re -do every room about every six months.
* She loved to go yard saleing …and if she got a lot she would leave it in the trunk and bring it in slowly over the course of a week…hoping that dad wouldn’t notice.
* She loved the majority of all of our ex-boyfriends….usually a lot more than we ever did!!
* and last but not least, she loved the song by Meatloaf called, “Paradise by the dashboard lightâ€. I would have played it today during the service If I thought I could have gotten away with it…..but I know she can hear me and it’s the thought that counts.
I wanted to share this list with all of you - because these things make me smile and I know that’s what she would have wanted……….to leave with a smile.
I’ll be back next week, April
I love that tree! I love the idea of planting a tree as a memorial. We did that for our son. What a great memory you have of your grandmother
Hugs to you as you go through this difficult week.
she sounds like a real “kindred spirit” and a wonderful woman… you know i think knowing you… and your little quirky likes… you are like her in so many ways… here’s to a life well lived!
love you friend
melanie
What a wonderful tribute to a special lady! {{{big hugs}}}
What a great idea to plant a tree (life) for meme. As I read her eulogy. I had seen a lot of those qualities in you when I met you at the ACT class and of course when I read your blog. What a great family you have.
I’m jealous as my family is quite different.
I display some of those qualities. But it was from working on my physiology degree and having many spiritual friends.
Most of all it was getting sober in 1994 that my whole view on life changed.
My children now display many good qualities that you have mentioned in your grandma’s eulogy.
What a great life we all have now. Although I can’t change my family members out side my immediate one.
In God’s time I’m sure.
One of my younger brothers hung himself on my dad death date Jan 9th 2006. And I’m still feeling sorrow and anger. Due to the fact, that he has a son now 3 years old.
Sorry about rambling but I felt I must share this with you.
I’m really enjoying getting to know you. You and your family are very blessed.
That is so sweet, April.
Hey girl, I’ve been thinking about you lately. Keep your chin up and I’ll be sending you happy thoughts!
Hugs,
Shawn
That is a beautiful tribute, April, and I can see you and Cindy are very much like her too!